Mid-Life crisis

In December 2007, I left my job of 13 years, shaved my head, grew a goatee and moved to Colorado. That was the start of my mid-life crisis and I have been continuing it ever since.

Since being in Colorado, I have learned to go fly fishing and do a little cycling. I gave up cable television and just kept Netflix and Apple TV for on demand viewing every now and then. I no longer have a house phone as we have converted to cellular phones only. I try and get outside more, and this year bought my first pair of snowshoes to give a try.

I have tried my hand at Twitter, Facebook and Google+. I switched from a windows based laptop to a Macbook Pro. I started a small company to help kids balance the time they spend with electronic media (Internet, TV, video games) with other importance activities such as physical exercise, education and community service.

When I moved to Colorado I bought a house my wife not yet seen (yes, she is a great lady) and bought my first truck I have ever owned. I learned to shovel a little snow, but have also learned to play in it. I actually really love the Colorado Front Range seasons.

I have come to appreciate watching hockey and attend the Colorado Eagles games where the puck flies fast and the fists land often. I took my son to a WWE professional wrestling match and conquered the heights of a ropes course at Colorado State University. I attend sessions held for the public at the University of Colorado Boulder law building. And I pop and eat Boulder Popcorn like it is going out of style.

After 4 years in Colorado, I still stand in the streams and gaze at the mountain ranges in awe. With a sports car, I would have drove right past these memorable treasures. Long live the mid-life crisis!

More thankfulness

Without a doubt, Thanksgiving is one of the key times during the year that one stops and reflects. Many times, we plow through life driving forward without pause. This morning I am taking a few moments to do that. Of course, there are several things that I am thankful for that I I am not mentioning such as the support of my family, a stable job, etc. I know that is the tendency of most during a time of reflection. Not that I am not reflecting on those as well, I am choosing to go a little deeper this morning.

This morning I want to thank the small handful of people I have worked with professionally over the past year.

The reason I am thankful for those people this morning are for different reasons. Some of the top reasons that came to mind are:

1. There is one person who has taught me to be more empathetic and compassionate towards others I work with
2. There is another who has helped me learn more patience
3. A third who has demonstrated how being energetic and friendly opens doors of opportunity, rather than just kicking doors down
   
4. Another person who is reserved with their trust, has taught me how to earn that trust

There are certainly more examples. Not all of them seemed like positive experiences at the time. Each of them required growth from me.

This past year I have learned more about myself and others through partners and co-workers than in prior years. This year I am thankful for learning more about the people in my professional life, and the resulting personal growth as an individual.

New Heights

In July 2011, my 10 year old son had the chance to climb a public rock wall. While we were standing in line there were other boys around his age pushing and shoving and generally rough housing. Ben, who is meek and passive, was avoiding the mayhem. Though he is physically strong, he tends to avoid pretty much all conflict. I stood by him in line as he shrank from the activities around him. The other boys proclaiming how they will conquer the wall with ease.

When we arrived at the front of the line, Ben was equipped with his gear and helmet along with the three boys in front of him. These four kids were clipped in, faced towards the steep wall and told to go for it. I was surprised as Ben shot up the wall. As I watched him maneuver the wall, I glanced at what was happening with the other kids near him. One never got off the ground. One made it half way. And one managed to get up the wall but with considerable difficulty. It made me smile to know that Ben has the skills, but he chooses to use them when it matters most rather than just talking about it.

I learn a lot from observing Ben. Whereas my confidence is assertive, his is quiet. Where my strength comes from inner drive, his is derived by inner calculation. Where I might run through others to achieve, Ben will steer around them to victory. I like that there is room in this world for all types of winners. For every Muhammad Ali there is an Abraham Lincoln. Each with his own potential to lead to the best of their abilities.

At the conclusion of climbing the wall to the top, not once but twice, Ben humbly offered me a "high-five" as we turned to walk away. And he never said a word. That moment, on that day, Ben's success was not simply a result of his scaling of a challenging obstacle. His success, in my eyes, was the result of giving every effort to reach his maximum potential. It is one thing to talk of new heights, and quite another to reach them.

"Success is a peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - John Wooden

Immersion and Engagement

I recently had the opportunity to watch two movies at the theater. One I walked away from thinking it was excellent, and the other I left thinking it was mediocre. When I thought about why I had these different reactions, I came up with multiple possible considerations. One in particular that interested me was the immersion experience, or lack there of.

Theater is a fascinating engagement model topic and warrants a much deeper study than my own cursory examination. But I would argue that movies have always provided escape through the immersion of the audience. Return of the Jedi opened six years to the day after A New Hope on May 25, 1983, and ushered in the release with it Lucasfilm's new theater sound quality system, THX. Audiences at THX-certified theaters were able to experience the acoustic qualities of the film as the filmmaker intended. The objective was to fully immerse the audience into the Star Wars experience through the use of enhanced audio. Of course audio is only one of the many immersion tactics leveraged by filmmakers. Special effects and video enhancements are obvious choices to include. I am also reminded of the experience of the Soarin' over California ride at Disneyland in Anaheim where the smell of the California orange groves meet the senses of the guests.

All of these examples are intended to draw the audience into a new world and provide the escape necessary to enjoy the experience. At the time of this writing, Gamification techniques for Internet based services are all the rage. They are today's popular method for user engagement. Due to some success, it has become a highly copied model for many web based applications and can be read about in countless books authored more recently than not. But I believe gamification is really only a means to an end. It is a strategy for enticing engagement through a parallel experience. What really should be considered the immersive experience for the audience regardless of the platform. Movies, amusement park rides, and Internet services all share the same need for captivating the user.

The prevalence of tactics becoming common among platforms will require new invention and heights to be realized to continue the same depth of engagement. In my opinion, gaming tactics will peak then give way to another form of immersion of the user into an experience. The objective is behavior modification and user engagement. Perhaps the next generation is a new strain of gaming tactics for engagement or something all together new such as how George Lucas appealed to the senses of his audiences in a new way. Whatever the emerging engagement strategies will evolve to, it will require further immersion of its audience to capture the attention. Otherwise, it will be one of those movies that leaves you wondering if it was worth the price of admission.

The wrong end of the oxen

I once heard a presentation that included a quotation from the beginning of Proverbs 14:4. That proverb reads, "Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox". Now, I want to zero in on the first 9 words of that proverb for a minute.

"Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean...."

So true. It is bad enough having to clean up after my dog in my backyard. (Though I confess that is my son's job). I am sure a few oxen in a stable could make quite the mess. But the point of the proverb is that to get to the value of the oxen (revenue) you have to put up with a little poop (troubles). There is a lot of the presentation that I heard that I no longer remember the details of. Except for this one lesson in which I recall vividly from time to time.

Consider this a new way to remember that anything worth having requires effort. If you are willing to work at it, you will reap benefits that you would otherwise not have. Sure, you don't have to keep oxen in the stable. However, when it comes to working in the field, the oxen make it possible to glean rewards magnitudes larger than if you were to harvest alone.

It amazes me how I zip through life at times expecting that things should come so easy to me. As though there is no opposite end to the oxen that I have to deal with, regardless of whatever it is that I may be engaging in. Then when I am faced with life's stable mess, I am surprised and frustrated by it. What if instead I just expected it, got out my shovel, took care of the mess and moved on. No frustration, only an understanding that I must care for the stable mess to experience the power of the oxen. What if instead I met the work with a smile knowing it is because I enjoy the benefits of the oxen that I get to clean the stable.

"Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment"
- Dale Carnegie

Learning Python

My 10 year old son Ben is learning to program. He started lessons from the Internet and has graduated to a Python book. The book is specifically on programming Python for games. Having a game as a goal, makes it interesting for him. From his first program after Hello World! he has been programming simple games.

On one particular occasion, I recall Ben getting really upset because he could not figure out why his program was not working in the way he expected. In this one life lesson, he progressed more than any prior programming lesson before. He had to figure it out. The program wasn't going to fix itself and to reach the goal he would have to put in the effort. In the end, he came to realize that the code he wrote was not exact enough. He missed details that resulted in bad code and the inability for his game to execute. When he got into the details of the code he had written, he had probably 10 corrections to make, whereas he could find none to correct before.

Ben could have given up. And quite honestly, I thought he was going to. He did need some help and encouragement, but ultimately Ben knew he had to work through the problem to get to his goal - a game programmed by himself. If Ben had no goal, he would have swayed from the difficult path and just found something easier to code. To reach a goal is to achieve. However, I also maintain that the simple act of setting the goal is also an achievement. When things aren't executing as you expect, sometimes that simple goal can offer you the persistence you need to push through difficult times.

My son Ben learned more about programming in Python this day than he would have if there were no problems to work through. But what is even more fantastic, is he was exposed to the more macro lesson of only getting to the goal by persisting through the difficulties. It was a good reminder for me.

Used Car Deal

This summer I bought a Volvo V70 car only a few years old for my wife from a nearby dealer. Now, let me first say that my wife tells me there are many blog stories available in this one day of shopping I could share. But rather than go through them all, I am more or less just going to tell you the story for you to enjoy.

Buying a car from a dealer is actually fun for me. I did the research I needed ahead of our excursion so my negotiation would be prepared and we knew pretty much what we wanted. I spent time preparing my wife for her role in the negotiation and how things would likely play out. We checked around online for inventory then we headed out.

Our event took approximately 10 hours. One of the greatest things that made my negotiation easiest was the ability to use a loan calculator on my iPhone. I was able to immediately evaluate every offer and counter offer on the spot. If it didn't get me where I wanted to be, I said no. It was awesome. I was surprised that more salespeople didn't have something like this themselves while we were looking at the cars. I kind of felt like it gave me more influence in the negotiation at that stage.

The hard part for most car negotiations seems to be saying no. I warned my wife about this. We talked about keeping in mind alternatives and that there are many cars out there we would be happy with not just one. But once my wife starting driving some, all of that planning changed a little. She certainly didn't want to walk away and say no. At that point she wanted a car. And I found myself in negotiation with my wife and the dealership. My original plan was to let my wife try to do the negotiation, but I quickly realized I needed to take it over. And as I said, I kind of enjoy it whenever I have to do negotiations anyway so it was probably better for both of us.

So with my iPhone in hand, I hammered out my scenario and prepared my wife that I would walk away without the car she selected if the car dealership didn't meet me there. She readily agreed. Then it all fell apart. They offered $1500 less for our trade in. They were $1000 more on the price than I wanted to be at. The interest rate I was offered was 1.5% more than I thought I could get. The dealership manager said he could not move my trade in for the price I wanted. He couldn't give me the interest rate I wanted unless we bought a new car. And he already discounted the price to cut halfway through his margin so could not go any more. My wife would have signed the deal right there. But we didn't.

One thing I have noticed in my career about negotiations is the influence time has. The more someone invests in the negotiation, the more they are willing to make concessions. We spent another 3 hours at the dealer working out our deal. We drove cars again. Held to our number. Asked for more. When told by the manager he could do no more for us, we went to our car to leave where we were followed by our salesperson, who had about 4 hours invested in us. I have to say, at that point my wife was begging me to just buy the car as we were only $250 away from my number. I said no and was perfectly fine with driving away in our undervalued trade in vehicle.

To make a long story short. My wife was mortified at the end of the day, and probably embarrassed throughout the negotiations. But near 5 hours after our first offer by the dealership manager we drove away in the car my wife wanted. I received the additional $1500 for our trade in to get the full value, I got the additional $1000 off the price of the vehicle we were buying and I locked up an interest rate 2% lower than we started. Now let me be clear, the dealer made their money as well, though maybe not as much as they had hoped. And they certainly wanted me off the lot (they traded salespeople on us several times). In the end, we got a fair deal and they sold a car. When both parties keep working at it, a good negotiation can be reached in most situations.

My wife said if we look, the salesperson probably wrote their own blog the next day and would be telling a different experience. It would be interesting to read that one. She also said after reading my blog entry, it sounded more mild than it was. As I mentioned, it was pretty obvious the salespeople and manager wanted me off the lot. The manager, after handing us off to another salesperson, made every attempt to avoid us. I don't know if he was worried he would have to give up more or what, but he steered far clear of us until we signed the papers. There was a document fee of $10 that the dealership forgot to tell me about. Both my wife and the dealership were visibly concerned that I was going to walk away due to that $10 when they told me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out $10 in 1 dollar bills and told them I didn't want to finance that. I thought it was funny even though I kept a serious poker face. No one else did, in fact they all looked at me in shock. So I put the money back in my pocket and said it was ok, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. When we finally got into our new car to drive off, there was a vehicle warning light about a bulb that had just burned out. The salesperson was calling the manager over to help but he refused to come over. I think he was exhausted with us.

Finally, I should add the detail of the story that I purposefully wore my black t-shirt that said, "No, I will not fix your computer..." that day. I think in some small way wearing a shirt that said "no" on it helped send a message that I wasn't going to easily say "yes". I can't quantify it, but I would do it again next time I go shopping for a vehicle.

I don't know if this was a helpful blog entry or not, but it was sure fun to write.

Ropes Course

I have this really awesome team at work that works for me that typifies the 'work hard, play hard' attitude. I will leave the ugly work details out of this blog entry. But the play hard part of our propensity brought us to a ropes course at Colorado State University on September 2, 2011.

The first thing I need to say is, being that high off the ground is a great equalizer. It just doesn't feel natural. So anyone who pushes beyond what they believe their limits may be deserves applause. Everyone on my team did just that and we all walked away from the day learning more about ourselves and our team.

The two things I personally had to muster the courage for was a leap of faith and a blindfolded walk. I did the blind fold walk first. It was 28 feet in the air. I climbed without sight and transitioned to a small platform. From there I blindly stepped off onto a telephone pole that I walked horizontally across until reaching the other side. Little did I know that the horizontal pole I was walking on tapered thinner as I walked! The leap of faith I had to climb a telephone pole that was about 16 feet high. I stood on top of it and launched myself out to catch a trapeze bar.

I am happy to say I was successful in all of my challenges and required a little more from myself than I would have imagined. That is the thing about team building. I had people on the ground encouraging me and helping me go farther than I would have on my own. I was genuinely happy for each person on my team who achieved and accomplished throughout the events of the day. Too often companies don't remember the importance to let teams achieve together outside of the workplace. My team was already a good team, now they will be even better.

I wrote this blog today only as a reminder that even during recession-like times, an investment in people can give the biggest returns. Sometimes I think we lose sight of that. September 2, 2011 was not one of those days. Not all team building has to cost money. We did a geocaching challenge in the Spring and once a quarter play a board game instead of a staff meeting, both of which cost us virtually nothing.

So what's next? Well we have talked about white water rafting, trap shooting, ghost hunting and snowshoeing. If any of that sounds like fun, get your waivers signed and do some real team building with your own teams. There is no better way to build trust in the work place than having someone hold a rope that will keep you from a 30 foot fall to the ground.

September 11, 2001

On Tuesday September 04, 2001, I was on top of the World Trade Center. I recall looking down at the Statue of Liberty and commenting to myself how small it appeared, knowing how large it is. I was staying in a hotel next door as I was traveling for business. I recall putting my back against the side of the building on its corner outside and looking up to experience vertigo, one week before the tragedy of the day we know as 9/11.

It could have been me.

I have not returned to New York since that time. Though I don't talk about it much, I don't know if I could easily visit the city again. The height at which I stood on the top floor of that building and the lasting imprint it left in my mind would make it difficult for me. I recall people joking in the lobby of the World Trade Center about bombs. I think of the security guards in the building who would be there a week later. I remember the awkward silence of the elevator ride to the top. When the silence was broken, it was with a nervousness not typical for a simple elevator ride.

My kids in school had an assignment this week which included asking my wife and I about September 11, 2001. For the first time in 10 years, I watched a video online of the tragic events that day with my children. My wife and I could barely watch it, and she left the room. My children are distanced from the tragedy of that day, while for us it remains very real. We remember what we were doing that day. My son was barely 5 months old and my wife held him in her arms while she saw the events unfold over the news. I was again traveling on business, fortunately within driving distance of our home this time. I walked down into the hotel lobby where people huddled around a television viewing the shock of the towers falling in disbelief and trying to sort out what it meant.

The fallen heroes of that day test my own grit when I consider their bravery. Would I have run into the building to save others or would I run away seeking my own safety? Would I give my own life for that of a stranger who happened to be in the World Trade Center that day - a stranger that I know not if they are good or bad? Would a cry for help be enough to motivate me to run inside a collapsing building, not knowing what other threats might still exist or even what these events all meant? Today, I honestly do not know the answer to these questions. Tomorrow, I hope to never have to answer them.

It is often repeated "Never Forget" when it comes to that day in U.S. history. Though it is not an all consuming thing for me, I don't know that I could simply forget. When I think about that day, I am haunted by how different things might have been if terrorism had selected 9/04 instead.

So this morning I ask my self one question. Am I living a life worthy of being saved by one of 9/11's fallen heroes? Because it could have been me who needed them.

Wisdom

Though I am not an expert, the word wisdom seems far less often used today. There is no shortage of the pursuits of wealth, knowledge, and love. But the pursuit of wisdom seems to be fast becoming a lost passion.

Perhaps a common definition of wisdom is in order. I did a cursory check at definitions online and most aligned to my own definition of wisdom. I believe wisdom to be the practical application of knowledge. It is an important distinction from knowledge itself in that it is more than just the acquisition of information and learning. It is the means by which that knowledge is applied in a lasting and meaningful way which defines wisdom.

Whenever I consider the pursuit of wisdom I think of leadership. The biblical reference of Solomon is perhaps the greatest example of wisdom the world has known. At the time of his ascension to the throne, God offered King Solomon one thing of whatever he would ask. Most kings would have requested power, wealth or honor. Solomon requested wisdom so that he might rightly rule the people. Solomon was given his request of wisdom in large measure. In addition, Solomon was given those things he did not ask for. King Solomon was further given power, wealth and honor greater than any king before or after his reign. For without wisdom, those other gifts would have been squandered.

It is for this reason, I don't mind the gray hairs I may display. To me, they act as a trophy that proclaim a level of wisdom only gained through experience and time. Those unable to produce a gray hair on their chin or temples should consider it an outward sign of an inward need to consider the wisdom of the more experienced.

We all float in and out of various capacities where we ourselves are leaders. If you think you have all of the answers, you don't. Instead, stand in the counsel of others. Relentlessly pursue wisdom so that you might rightly lead others. For if you expect to answer all of life's questions on your own, you will eventually fail and lead others astray. I am not saying you should fear making mistakes. For temporary failure is perhaps a path to gaining greater wisdom. I am suggesting it is blind arrogance that is a continuous path towards a lack of understanding.

On a related but side note, I learned from a National Parks Ranger who has since become an acquaintance of mine that owls aren't as wise as their reputation. Their eyes are so large and skull so small that the room available for their brain is actually very small. Therefore, pursue wisdom beyond the acquisition of it's perception, but seek to attain it as a cornerstone of your being.

"A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew." - Herb Caen

Simple

I am all about simplification. Over the many years I have been in Information Technology leadership I have preached the need for simple solutions. The most sophisticated solution need not apply. I am interested in mastering the requirements necessary with the simplest solution possible. Albert Einstein said it best,

"Everything should be kept as simple as possible, but no simpler."

The additional complexity that is unnecessary only adds burden. Perhaps it makes problems more difficult to troubleshoot and elongates mean time to repair. Or perhaps it demands additional life cycle management planning that could otherwise be unnecessary. Or maybe due to tightly coupled integration, invasive technical procedures require herculean efforts for stakeholder approvals.

It is my opinion some of the more innovative web applications recently are, at their core, simple. Facebook with it's simple interface. Twitter with its 140 character messaging. I think you can even make a case for Google's search engine success with its straight forward interface and business model.

So why is it that as inventors we gravitate towards complexity?

I can't explain it, although I am sure someone out there has a theory. Perhaps it is because we attach negative associations with simplicity. We use simple as synonymous with dim witted. We refer to simplifying messages so that the uneducated can understand it. But even with my own propensity to preach this principle, I myself tend to fall into the trap of designing solutions with too much complexity. I require of myself to reduce my solutions down after I am done to identify the meaningful elements for implementation.

Simplicity ensures and requires broader understanding. It requires greater discipline to provide solutions that are elegantly simplified. In simplification, there is greater freedom.

"If you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Einstein

The Runner

My wife is a runner. I am a walker.

This morning is another morning that I am reminded that my wife is the runner in the family. She has never before been an athlete and only running for about a year now. Earlier in 2011, she took 4th place in her age group in a 5k running race after only about 6 months experience. She has now ran through the winter, spring and summer, and is coming full circle now back into the fall. In Colorado, she has been averaging near 10 minute miles at our higher elevation. On her trip to California this summer, she continued her running, and averaged nearer to 8 minute miles. And by the way, I am super proud of my wife.

I on the other hand have been an athlete pretty much all of my life. I have won many wrestling championships at both state and national level, having started when I was 5 years old. Running was a necessary consequence of making weight and having the cardio needed to last 3 rounds with tough competition. A few years ago, I was starting to enjoy running in a different way. It was becoming a variety in which I could work out differently. I had been riding a road bike and lifting weights, and working my P90x routine. Running gave me an opportunity to balance those with something I could do in 30 - 45 minutes, get outdoors and get a good work out in.

Then came the injury.

I hurt my ankle running. And now every time I start running it swells up and becomes painful with any weight bearing activity like running. I have had an MRI, x-rays, and ultrasounds. I have seen 3 specialists, and sports doctors. I have spent more money in medical co-payments than I care to recall. No one has been able to figure out what it is. And each of them have suggested I stop running and do other activities. I remember telling the last specialist I could have come in with a sealed envelope that he could have opened saying he wouldn't know what my injury was. I was right, he got mad. But I dutifully wrote him a check anyway and left the office bitter.

So I walk.

While I walk, I wish I could run. But I can't. I occasionally try and test it out and end up having to limp back home, literally. Instead, I must swallow my pride and do what exercise I am able. My most recent walks I go at a fast pace and try not to let those slow joggers pass me. Not long ago I took my walking to the mountains and walked a few miles up a mountain in the Rocky Mountain National Park past Alberta Falls and up to Mills Lake. I picked up some snowshoes and trekking poles this summer to carry my walking into the winter this year. If I am going to walk, I am going to make it as interesting as I can.

I haven't given up yet on getting my ankle repaired enough so I can enjoy running once again. But in the meantime, I do not prefer to think of myself as a walker. I prefer to call myself a hiker, it just sounds better.

Be Still

This past summer, I had the opportunity to go camping with my son for a few days in the Rocky Mountain National Park. One of the mornings I woke up very early, started a fire and sat down in my camp chair and quietly listened.

There were squirrels chasing each other back and forth up the hill. Birds filled nearby trees and greeted the morning with song. As the fire crackled, I surveyed landscape and the beauty of the surrounding trees and mountains. A mule deer took a wide berth of my campsite with two fawns in tow. It truly did look like a painting as the sun slowly crept over the eastern mountainside and graced the meadow just below my campsite with a warm brightness. The memory is etched in my mind.

During the hour or so that I sat there, I fought to be still. I didn't want to miss a detail. I just sat there and took it all in. I tried not to even think or else my mind would race back to the cares of the world. I tried to remain present. I don't get to the mountains as often as I would like, so this morning I didn't want to spoil it by stirring around or thinking about what awaits me in the valley below when I return. I was still.

Later, after the sun was well established, my son emerged from the tent to join me. As we fired up the camping stove to start coffee, I reflected on how much I enjoyed that hour and how little time I spend being still as I had just been. The clutter of noises of everyday life drown out the things that might otherwise be noticed in times of stillness. But perhaps being still is exactly what I need to do more often. Just like the need for sleep and food and water are required to be healthy, perhaps I need to also be still. I am thankful for that morning and the reminder that not all moments need to be driven at top speed. But that sometimes to make the most progress on a journey one may only require absolute stillness.

Throw your Best Punch

"All the time he's boxing, he's thinking. All the time he was thinking, I was hitting him." - Jack Dempsey.

This is one of my favorite quotes. I consider myself a man of action. I just like getting things done that need to get done. I do believe in planning, but not at the time when fists are flying. That is when you need to step in and throw your best punch. I appreciate this common sense quote by Jack Dempsey and frequently remind myself of it.

With a little Google searching, I found Jack Dempsey was born in Manassa, Colorado on June 24, 1895. Dempsey rose to sports fame in the 1920s. As a nomadic traveler from 1911 to 1916, Dempsey began boxing in the small mining towns of Colorado under the name Kid Blackie. My brief search revealed he emerged from numerous saloon floor-boxing matches to professional heavyweight boxing champion in 1919 with his knockout victory over Jess Willard. Dempsey was perhaps best known for his heavy hitting and thrilling knockout victories. He had an aggressive and powerful style that had a lasting impact on the sport of boxing.

But prior to his boxing career, Jack Dempsey held jobs of digging ditches, picking peaches, cutting timber and being a circus roustabout while traveling from town to town. Nothing special. Except that the context of his humble beginnings is what makes the quote itself special to me. No one gave Jack Dempsey the boxing heavyweight title. He had to beat a 6' 6 1/2 inch tall 235 lb monster by the name of Jess Willard. Jack Dempsey boxed at 187 lbs. Rumors have abounded for years about Dempsey cheating as Willard was widely reported to have suffered a broken jaw, broken ribs, several broken teeth and a number of deep fractures to his facial bones. Whether he had or hadn't I cannot debate. But I can emphatically say that Jack Dempsey climbed in the ring and stood toe to toe with a giant of a man in true David and Goliath fashion, and won in 3 rounds.

If Jack Dempsey had never entered a professional ring and seized the moment, he would have not been remembered at all. If he had not stood in the face of adversity and overcome it, he might never have been known. If he had settled for saloon floor-boxing matches and picking peaches, I would not have his quote to inspire me to take action. Throw your best punch.

The Gardener

I am the worst gardener ever. I can tell you stories upon stories of gardens which have not survived under my care, lawns that have been ruined only to be replaced and ruined again, and fruit trees that never bared their fruit. A gardener, horticulturist, or botanist I am not.

However, I appreciate the analogy that gardening offers my own life. I still toil in the yard battling weeds, sowing flowers and celebrating when I prevail over a corner of the yard that has been my nemesis. Each of these things and more reminds me of the care that goes into any activity worth cultivating.

In my own start up company, of course this analogy of gardening is also relevant. There are some activities that require greater care to grow and flourish. And the things that grow rapidly, those that sprout tall in the least amount of time, might not develop deep roots nor survive unfavorable conditions. It is the things I am attentive to, the details I sweat, that allow for growth that is from strength and not easily withered. I am further reminded when there is pruning required, that this act of cutting off results in the promise of healthier growth. Even though at the time I may only feel the bite from the teeth of the saw.

Growing something from nothing requires care, attention and time. It requires the labor of digging deep, preparing the soil, and the eradication of invasive weeds that threaten to choke what it is you mean to grow. Does it require work? Yes. Are there forces at work both for and against you? Yes. Is it worth the effort? I say, yes.

"All gardeners live in beautiful places because they make them so."
- Joseph Joubert

Gaming for everyone

I know, I know. The latest buzz words are games and gamification. But I have to tell you, I love games. I have always been a gamer of some sort. In fact, the original game of Might and Magic on PC swapping in and out 5 1/4" floppy disks was the reason my career has been in Information Technology the past 23 years. I programmed on the Commodore 64, played pong and Pitfall on Atari, and dropped quarters in Star Castle at the arcade. In more recent years, I have enjoyed some team building online with Battlefield 1942 and City of Heroes.

And though I have spent countless hours with video gaming across the PC, Playstation, Nintendo and other platforms, I also like non-video games. My son and I play a card game with each other called Magic the Gathering. We have hundreds of cards now that we mix and match to build a deck to conquer one another. (I have even been known to buy some cards off of ebay to try and get the upper hand). We have chess boards in the house where we can sit down on a moments notice and go for the best two out of three. In these more recent years, I have enjoyed sharing the fun of games in all kinds of forms with my son.

But there is a big difference between my son and I. I can be highly competitive, and he generally is not. In fact, given the choice he would prefer to play cooperatively and be on the same team as opposed to one of us having to come out the loser in a contest. At first, I found this to be curious, even odd. I remember my oldest daughter playing Monopoly at age 7 and refusing to explain a rule to my father in law in hopes he would make a mistake she could capitalize on. And I thought to myself, "right on". I thought maybe I could work on this inability to compete with my son and perhaps help correct his behavior. It didn't take me long to realize that it did not need correcting at all, but this skill of his needed encouragement. It is not a flaw. It is his strength.

With this profound discovery of mine, I have found it curious in the manner by which many companies are engaging in gaming tactics to motivate people. Often the formula is simply to get people to compete for status. However, as I have found, not all gamers are equally motivated by the same things. Throwing competitive gaming elements together will not engage all possible participants in a one size fits all strategy. It is necessary to accommodate the competitive and the cooperative types. The meek and the assertive. The passive and aggressive style players. There are more than just competitive people who enjoy the fun of playing games.

Gamification needs to be fun at its core and engaging for all types of players. The individual who prefers Solitaire and crossword puzzles should not be left out. A rich playing experience incorporates storytelling and character development for some types of players. Game mechanics are fun when the level of difficulty matches the skills of the player. When gaming elements are too easy, they quickly become boring and erode their engagement qualities for the player. Why not let players determine those boundaries for themselves. It is my wish that software developers and designers who are incorporating gamification go beyond the short term quick hit earn points and badges model. I wish for them to implement more experiential frameworks that allow openness for players to explore the game elements in the style they are most attuned with. Not having to feel defeated or even having to engage with others socially if they prefer not to. But to enjoy gamification for the pure love of playing the game, however they choose to interact with it.

The Classics

Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne are some of my all-time favorite actors. By today's standards, their movies aren't flashy with computerized special effects or budgets in the unheard of millions. They just brought raw classic acting to the screen. They were loved for their own styles, each different from one another. Yet all of them legendary leading men. Every now and then, I pop an old classic on and enjoy simpler times by the likes of films such as The Maltese Falcon, The Man who shot Liberty Valence, or El Dorado.

These days I myself occasionally feel like a classic. A throwback from days gone by. I am part of a startup community and I am over the age of 40 years old. This is counter culture to the entrepreneurs of today. There is an expected formula to follow for big box office hits and large startup successes today. My profile doesn't fit, simply because I am considered too old and haven't done it before now. Yet the actors I mentioned are considered iconic, even to this day. They are legends who proved themselves time and again to defy the odds in film after successful film.

• Humphrey Bogart was short and had a lisp, flunked out of Phillips Andover and didn't break into the A-list of actors until the age of 42. Yet in 1999, the American Film Institute named him the Greatest Male Star in cinematic history.
  
• Jimmy Stewart was a boyish-looking, skinny unlikely leading man some have referred to as even biographically boring. Yet he is one of the more highly decorated award winners in film history starring in more than 100 films and considered one of the more beloved leading male actors ever.
  
• John Wayne began his acting career as an injured football player losing his scholarship and with an unlikely screen name of Marion Morrison. However, he went on to act in a reported more than 175 films. His work on the Searchers has been singled out by filmmakers and actors alike as the greatest performance by an actor on film, ever. When you want to watch an epic western, there is no equal.
  

Each of these men in spite of their drawbacks were reportedly driven, hard-working men of high integrity. These men of the past are inspiring to me. They give me the courage to be my own self and take all of my own experience and pour it into the stage I am given. I may not hit it big right away. My first few startup efforts might not be blockbuster hits. However, perhaps with persistence my own Oscar awaits. I share the highly driven, hard-working and high integrity philosophy of these leading men. And if I am discarded by some because I do not fit the profile, I am all the more fueled to become a leading man in my own style just as these men did.

The Junction Boys

I think it was about two years ago that I read the book The Junction Boys by Jim Dent. It is a compelling story of Paul "Bear" Bryant who suffers his team through a grueling training camp in Junction, Texas. For those who could, many ran back to the life they had and escaped the brutality of the now infamous training camp. But for others, there was no place to run back to. Bryant willed he would get the most out of this team he had inherited. And those who had no alternative, would be required to endure it.

When I had finished the book, I remember contemplating the motivation these players must have had to endure the onslaught of physical and mental cruelties suffered. Most of them clearly had nothing to go back to. Texas was going through a fourth year of major drought that resulted in families losing farms and ranches. Parents broke the plates of the boys leaving their homes to symbolize there was no dinner table to come back to, as many could no longer feed them anyway. It seems obvious to me that motivation is easiest achieved through self-interest. However, American society seems to have become centralized completely around positive rewards for self-interest as the only means of motivation. Isn't it equally true that one can be highly motivated for fear of the result of not enduring? That the outcomes of not achieving may be more painful then the present effort persistence requires?

I do not believe all motivation should be to avoid punishment or pain. In fact, my business is quite the contrary. Nor do I believe all motivation should be derived from the pursuit of pleasure. The Junction Boys story is a reminder that achievement can be the result of no other option but to win, to endure, to prevail because there is no other choice.

I would argue that motivation only for the pursuit of pleasure can be compromised. When things get too difficult, we may justify the reward is not worth the present level of pain. Whereas the motivation derived from avoiding a more difficult alternative cannot be avoided. It cannot be compromised. Therefore, it is at least possible that motivation, because there are no other alternatives to fall back upon, is perhaps the most compelling motivation of all.

Let's say to become independently wealthy - for life, you must endure an incredibly difficult task that would be just barely tolerable. One that you doubt your ability to achieve and would require great personal sacrifice. Now compare that with having to endure that same task or to be sold into slavery - for life. Doesn't being independently wealthy seem like an optional goal whereas slavery does not? Sometimes it might be worth the exercise for you to consider what the penalty might be for not achieving, rather than just only considering what you might have to gain by it.

Oh yeah, and the Junction Boys? Two years later, Bryant led the team to the Southwest Conference championship with a 34–21 victory over the University of Texas at Austin.

Potholes

Early morning is a great time for me to think. And this morning I was thinking about all of the many potholes the road to any worthwhile destination has. Every long road to a destination has twists and turns, but the twisting and turning continue to carry you forward towards your destination. Some might even find the turns exhilarating and full of excitement as they press the pedal even harder and lean into the curves.

But the potholes are a different story. They slow us down. The deeper ones are uncomfortable to move past. The ones some are faced with may even suggest you turn around, change your course, or even head back home. The thing about potholes are they came into being as a result of a road traveled before. Someone else pushed past this point, in fact many have. It was their tires who widened the hole and deepened the obstacle.

As I think about my own startup experience so far, I am reminded of the ups and downs. One day having leaned into a curve and the rush of the feeling coming out of it. Other days in which I rattled my self over a pothole and came out sour at the obstacle. I am reminded this morning to look beyond the road and at the scenery, and therefore gain enjoyment from the ride itself.